I have never been one to get up early. Even as a kid my mom had to reluctantly drag me out of bed each morning. I am very much a go with the flow kind of person and typically schedules and me do not match up whatsoever. However, over the past few months something started happening, or maybe it just became increasingly apparent to me….I felt I had NO time for myself to get anything done. Everything seemed to be put in hyper speed. It was complete chaos, which might not be the word I am looking for, full fledged mom responsibilities from the second I opened my eyes to the second I collapsed into bed at night. We were getting up later, which meant Lake wasn’t taking a nap anymore, and I was so exhausted from being “on” all day that I just couldn’t get back up at night to have a couple minutes of quiet for myself. So, about two weeks ago, I set a pretty honest goal for myself. I was going to seriously put time and effort into shifting our schedule around. I realized that with four kids…and I think it gets more so with the more kids you have in the family…I need to have a little bit of time for myself to ground in the morning and again at the end of the day. If I do not do this…everything seems way out of control to me.
Making this shift was not easy, especially for me. Like I said, I usually got up when I wanted to get up…no restrictions. My kids all usually got up at their own different times. So, a lot of intention and commitment needed to be put into this shift on my end.
Why was I trying to do this if it was so much work? I couldn’t see the sense in getting up at 9 when the sun sets by 5. I want to see as much daylight as I can in these short days of winter. I want to be able to structure our homeschooling days so that we can all get all that we want to out of our days. I need some “me” time each and everyday to check my email, put together some mental thoughts on what we are going to do each day, to get grounded, and to unwind without chaos swirling about my head and the end of each day. I want Lake to take naps again so that I can focus on my older kids a little more. I want more time for knitting and sewing and baking. Although I was able to practice a whole lot on letting go of every expectation I had since I had a difficult time getting much done that I would’ve liked to get done, I wanted to see if I could do something about it. So, I gradually worked on a schedule…and committed to it.
For two weeks now I have successfully gotten up by 6am everyday. Some of you may be laughing, but that is a huge accomplishment for me and I feel great. Every morning I get to eat breakfast in peace, I get to see the sun rise, I get to sit down to collect my thoughts, write them out, and connect with myself. It is amazing what an hour and a half can do for oneself! I took two weeks to solely focus on just getting up earlier, and then of course getting to be earlier as well. Up until this shift I had been staying up way too late…like till one in the morning, and honestly, it was beginning to drain me.
The other part of the shift was to drag my kids out of bed earlier, because I wanted them in bed earlier so that I could allow myself the space to sit and unwind in peace and quiet, to knit, or write, or sit alone with my husband. This part of the change was painful a couple times…no one wants extra cranky kids on their hands! Thankfully, those little bodies know to go to sleep quickly when they are so tired out. Early to rise…earlier to bed. My goal is to be wrapping up bedtime by 7:30. Of course the girls can stay up quietly in their beds doing origami, drawing, or reading for a little bit, but in general everyone is in bed, and the boys are asleep. Then I have a couple of hours for myself, or to spend alone with Jason, which rarely happens.
I have a lot that I am going to be adding into our days, one thing at a time. In the past I have gotten super overwhelmed and frustrated because “my ideal schedule” just didn’t happen overnight, but when I take the time to focus in on making one change each week, it becomes super do able (even for me!) and I am finding pockets of time and peace opening up in each and every day, where I didn’t see it before. As things change and I gradually fall into my own rhythm I will share more …as the pieces come together …to keep my ideas written out, so that when I fall off track, I will know how to get back on.
.:linking over with Nicole’s Rhythm in our Home post:.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Good for you, Lisa! I am not a morning person either but I went through what you went through, and a few years ago decided to do that same. Problem is, that the bus comes for one girls at 7am! This means time for me has to be eeked out at 5am. ugh. But, I gotta find the time so it works for me. My kids are at school each day so I am alone, but that is dedicated working time, so I have to be disciplined and find "me" down time in the wee hours. It totally makes a difference!
Oh Lisa that is wonderful and what a great example you have set for me as I am HORRIBLE at getting up before the children as well. On the rare days when I can actually beat them out of bed it truly is a treat to have that quiet time to gather my thoughts, prepare for the busyness of the coming day and just catch up if I'm behind on something. This may have to be my new year's goal *grin*.
Hello dear Lisa…Glad to stop by again! Of course, you write directly to my heart. I am like you, staying up way beyond reasonable just to carve some mama time for myself. I have been doing this for months and months on end, and am finally burning out by it. My second child is now finished with naps, which makes bedtime way easier, but definately less "quiet" time for me during the day. I'm ok with that, though, as the two older children know to have quiet time during the little one's nap. They read, or we do puzzles together. I'd love to get up earlier than the children, but I'm still night nursing. Your post reminds me that my time will come, and I look forward to that ~ though I try and be grateful for the here and now. I'm happy you are taking the time to replenish your soul, it inspires so many of us! Love to you,
xo Jules
I'm so with you on this. We've recently changed the bedtime around here to 7:30. It's taken a few weeks, but it is just about set. I mean, it's dark here by 4:30 PM. Oh my, the street lights even came on today at 2:30. Really.
Luke and I have been playing cards around 8:30, right before bed. It's so, so nice. So quiet, so much like a date where we talk and talk, sometimes over ice cream. Sometimes the kids come down with a nightmare, catch us 'partying' as they say. Especially in this darkness, it's been incredible for us to reconnect after a busy fall day. I hope you find your rhythm.
Thank you, this was very inspiring post for me as I try to rearrange my evening rythm. Lovely blog! I will definitely come again!
this post really resonates with me right now. I'm feeling the same – what a great way to make use of your hours
Believe me I am not laughing. I am not a morning person and struggle with going to bed early and getting up early. Thanks for the inspiration!
good for you!
Yeah! Good for you Lisa. That morning time is so precious to me too ~ it is my sanity. And it is so easy to let that adult time slip away without consciousness. All the rest of the day falls into place when I am up and going while the house sleeps. I am so grateful to Rahima Baldwin, author of You Are Your Child's First Teacher and her many excellent articles on mothering and in Mothering as well as her homeschool conferences on the west coast, for planting that seed of the importance of getting up before the children and respecting adult time. Rahima Baldiwn is the mother of Waldorf homeschooling for so many who probably are not even aware that she is the one who influenced so much of what is being promoted today. Thank you Rahima. And thank you Lisa for sharing your discovery.